Who We Are

We all have them. Moments of regret. Moments of overwhelmed. Moments of, well, wanting to claw someone's eyes out for something stupid they've just said. We have moments when we are overcome with love for our little non-biological and we have moments when we....aren't.

We'd all lay our lives down for our kids, but we still have secret thoughts, us adoptive mothers.

The first one I remember during the wait was, I hope we don't get a dud.

Oh yes I did.

The first one I remember within a few hours after we got a keeper? What have we DONE?

For the LOVE he wouldn't sleep. Did he not know I'd been up for three weeks praying his mother wouldn't change her mind? I needed to freaking sleep! GO TO SLEEP! IT'S 2 AM!

Now we are in the throes of adjusting to a seven year old daughter who has seen more first hand tragedy in her short life than most of us have seen on Netflicks.

Do I have secret thoughts? You betcha. But I also have a safe place where I can say, "Do you ever mourn the nice quiet life that felt so empty last year?" Or, "Do you sometimes want to go back and shake your impatient self and tell her to sit down and eat some ice cream in peace?" And, "Good gravy, she's pulling her permanent teeth for money! Help!"

Sometimes you might find you are asking questions you never thought you'd ask yourself. For example:
Upon seeing that your daughter is missing her uvula (that dangly thing in the back of her throat): what else has been mutilated?
Upon seeing that your 11 month old baby has a five inch scar across his chest: have his organs been harvested?
When your four year old spazzes out about nothing: was this the drugs?

We intend for this to be a community, a safe place of encouragement, where we can share our stories and help one another through.

We like to laugh, too.

Email us your stories. We'd love to post them up. Maybe someone needs to hear what you have to say. If you want to stay anonymous, let us know, and we'll leave you anonymous. If you'd like to link up to your blog, we can do that, too. Be forewarned: don't tell us you want to kill your kids. Anonymous or not, I'll send a psyche counselor and the popo after you. Nothing of that sort will be posted.

Encourage. Laugh. Share.

What are your secret thoughts?

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