November 18, 2012

Balance and Encouragement

I was recently asked to speak at our annual women's retreat.
On balance.

*hysterical laughter*

Balance? Me? Surely you have the wrong person. Not only am I sure you have the wrong person, when I mentioned it to my husband, he nearly fell out of his chair laughing. And he's really more of a deep chuckle kinda guy.

After a few days, I felt pretty convicted that I should speak, but if I were to speak on balance, it would have to be more along the lines of "Saying 'No' So That You'll Be Ready for the Big Yes."
It turns out that that theme wasn't what they were hoping for.

I didn't speak at the retreat.
Nor did I go.
I'm balanced like that.

When I talked with a friend about it, I got more of the story. Turns out that if I said no, my back-up was an adoptive mother. And her back-up was another adoptive mother.

I sense a theme here.

Do you know what we all have in common?

It isn't balance.

None of us is overly involved in stuff. There's nothing to balance when out of self/family/child protection survival you have to cut out everything that isn't a necessity.

Our "balance" is, you guessed it, saying no because you said yes.

The idea of doing a retreat/bake sale/VBS/birthday party/dinner party/Sunday school/Wednesday night dinners/sight words/fund raisers/competitive ball teams/musical/choir/talent show/Christmas gift exchange make me suffer panic attacks so great that I consider home schooling and house church just to get out of it.

Which leads me to my second point: my church wants me to write about My Christmas Miracle (a.k.a. The Adoption) for our newsletter. Because it's such a great story.

"But keep it encouraging."

OK, I spent Christmas in Africa.
That's third world, for those of you not in the know.
I ate goat entrails for my Christmas meal.
My judge said, on court day, "There's a problem."
My child would not acknowledge my presence.
And still often won't.
And I have no friends.
Because I shrank my world down to four walls and a roof.

That sounds encouraging.
And balanced.

Incoming panic attack in 3.....2.....1.....

*duck and cover*

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